It's been a hectic couple of weeks here in the Barr household! I was going to write about what we did over the break, but do you really care??
Having time off from work was wonderful but we were so busy traveling and packing and unpacking, that I feel like I hardly got to enjoy it. Next year I am definitely going to be making some changes about how we handle the holidays.
Piggybacking on that, I typically do not make New Year's Resolutions, b/c I hate obligations and when I obligate myself to something, ehem exercise, I end up hating and resenting it. For example, I used to MAKE myself do the Stair Master for 60 minutes (conveniently when reruns of 90210 were on t.v.) a day in high school and I now loathe any form of exercise that is more effort than walking. But this year there is something that I need to change. I call it the Daily Once Over. Here's how it goes and you'll see why I need to change it.
Basically my Type A personality, scratch that, I am going to change that. I am a perfectionist, like it or not. So my perfectionism has me stuck in this horrendous habit of coming home and looking for things that have been moved out of place, broken, or otherwise ruined during the day. This includes checking the couch and carpet for muddy paw prints, fixing couch cushions, and seeing how many outfits my kids have worn in one day and strewn on the floor, among many other annoying things. I know I need to stop, but I think it fulfills my need for control that I don't have, not being there all day. Sick.....but as I have stated in the past, knowing is half the battle......right?
Let me give you a few examples of things that have occurred that have exasperated my Daily Once Over compulsion. Before the winter holiday, I came home found our Rottweiler ornament (which we got last year after Lux died) was neatly tucked into the tree with one leg (as if I wouldn't notice!). WTF!? Three legs were missing, and no one cared to mention this to me. I was on the verge of tears and my son and I comb the area rug and find her three missing legs. Luckily some Superglue fixed Luxy's legs right back on, but I was really upset about that one. This week I had a pack of LipSmackers (we have discussed my love for LipSmacker before) in my room. NOW, I know I accidentally left them, on the floor, BUT they were in a bag and still in the package
In turn, I find it necessary to come home and do a once over of the home to make sure everything is in working order before settling down and enjoying my children. This has to stop. I need to enjoy my children and then deal with household things. Does anyone else struggle with this?? Why do I even care what my house looks like? I have two small children and a puppy and no one is even visiting me.
I would like to say that I adore our nanny. I know I am making it sound like chaos ensues when I am not around, but I think it's actually much calmer when I am not there. She takes wonderful care of our children and they love her, and so do I. We are lucky to have someone come to our house. My issue is that sometimes I don't express my expectations, so how can she know what I expect? I need to work on this.......This is nothing new btw. Been working on this for years. How can someone know what I expect, when I don't express it? Then I get all pissed off because they aren't doing what I want, but I never said anything! That's not a NY's Resolution, that a life change and it's taking me a lifetime to work on it.
So that is my New Year's Resolution. Stop doing the Daily Once Over. Come home, play with the kids, feed them hot dogs or chicken nuggets or whatever is easiest, because let's face it, no matter how many great, 'easy' recipes I pin on pinterest, it's not going to happen (and that doesn't make me a bad mom), bathe them, and kiss them good night. Then leave the mess till the next day.........Ahhhhhhhhhhhh...................
TTFN!
GREAT resolution, my dear! Even if I were visiting everyday, I wouldn't care what your house looked like! xoxoxo
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